Speak Up. Speak Out. Speak LOUDLY.

My favorite quotes:

“I am convinced that if we are to get on the right side of the world revolution, we as a nation must undergo a radical revolution of values. We must rapidly begin the shift from a “thing-oriented” society to a “person-oriented” society. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism, materialism, and militarism are incapable of being conquered.” 

“America, the richest and most powerful nation in the world, can well lead the way in this revolution of values. There is nothing, except a tragic death wish, to prevent us from reordering our priorities, so that the pursuit of peace will take precedence over the pursuit of war. There is nothing to keep us from molding a recalcitrant status quo with bruised hands until we have fashioned it into a brotherhood.”

“A nation that continues year after year to spend more money on military defense than on programs of social uplift is approaching spiritual death.” 

“Many of the ugly pages of American history have been obscured and forgotten. A society is always eager to cover misdeeds with a cloak of forgetfulness, but no society can fully repress an ugly past when the ravages persist into the present. America owes a debt of justice, which it has only begun to pay. If it loses the will to finish or slackens in its determination, history will recall its crimes and the country that would be great will lack the most indispensable element of greatness — justice.”

“We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the vitriolic words and actions of the bad people, but for the appalling silence of the good people.”

“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that.  Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that.  Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction.  The chain reaction of evil – hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars – must be broken or we shall be plunged into the darkness of annihilation.”

 —MLK

• I’m not married because I don’t want or need the state’s approval of my relationship and  I certainly don’t want it interfering if we decide to part.
• I’m not married because the history of marriage is ugly and anti-woman; because I don’t like the common meanings of the words “wife” and “husband”; and because even today, and even among couples that call themselves feminist, gender inequality in relationships is known to increase when a couple moves from cohabitation to marriage (and I don’t think I’m so special that I’ll be the anomaly).
• I’m not married because I’m opposed to the marriage industrial complex. It’s exploitative, stereotypical, and wasteful.
• I’m not married because I value the fact that my partner and I decide to be together every day, even though we don’t have to jump through legal hoops to do otherwise.
• I’m not married because I don’t want to support a discriminatory institution that has and continues to bless some relationships, but not others, out of bigotry.
• I’m not married because I don’t believe in giving social and economic benefits to some kinds of relationships and not others.  I don’t believe that a state- or church-endorsed heterosexual union between two and only two people is superior to other kinds of relationships.

I could go on, but you get the idea.

I don’t love the rebel.

I don’t lust after the bad boy.

I don’t want to be with the tough guy.

I love sweet men.

I love kind men, generous men, thoughtful men.

Murder.

Rape.

Abuse.

Greed.

Lust.           

Privilege.

Racism.

Sexism.

Homophobia.

With so many men at the heart of darkness,

I need constant reminders that the good guys exist. 

That there are sweet guys.

Magnanimous, caring men.

Pro-Feminist men.

Anti-racist men.

Men who don’t fear anyone’s sexuality.

I couldn’t keep fighting the good fight if they didn’t exist. 

It helps to remind me what I’m fighting for.

Progressives MUST start talking about their values.  Here’s an example.

FAMILY VALUES:  Family values are extremely important particularly concerning the raising of children.  Children must grow up in strong, supportive, loving homes.  Children become responsible, self-disciplined and self-reliant through being cared for, respected, and caring for others both in their family and community.  The obedience of children comes out of their love and respect for their parents and their community, NOT our of fear of punishment.  Good communication is crucial.  If their authority is to be legitimate, parents and other adults must explain why their decisions serve the cause of protection and nurturance. The principal goal of nurturance is for children to be fulfilled and happy in their lives.  This nurturance can and should come from multiple sources.  Mothers, fathers, grandparents, extended family, neighbors, and/or friends should all play a role in raising children.  The configuration of adults (and their sexual orientation) plays absolutely no role in a child’s healthy development - respect, nurturance, love, communication and protection does.  

We must start talking about our values and stop talking about issues.  It’s not that issues aren’t important, but VALUES must come first.  What do environmental protection, civil rights, abortion rights, gun control, gay rights and public education all have in common??

THE ETHIC OF CARING!!  Empathy, Responsibility, Justice, Freedom and Liberty belong in the new language of Liberals! Progressives are notoriously bad at vocalizing our values (because we also value facts and logic).  All of the issues we support are connected by the ethic of caring and empathy.  Absolutely everything we care about is linked together through our values and the government must be responsible for protecting us and moving us toward a more just and equal society.  That’s why Social Security is so important.  That’s why gay rights are so important. That’s why all the issues we care about are so important.  It’s because we care about our fellow citizens.  We want the elderly, who can no longer work, to be taken care of and not out on the streets or in poverty!!  They shouldn’t be subjected to the gambling done on the Wall Street Casino.  Family stability and responsibility matter - not the sex of a parent.  An education is a right not a reward for the rich.  We need an educated society in order to maintain our democracy.

The only way to accomplish our goals is to COME TOGETHER.  We must start pushing our values and stop pushing single issues.  For example, instead of saying, “I believe in Global Warming,” we should say, “We need to make sure the environment continues to support us and our children.  Corporations pollute our air and water and use our land – all for private profits.  These corporations use MORE of our resources than individuals do, so it only makes sense for them to pay for polluting our planet and making us sick. We must curb the local and global destruction they inflict, etc. (then we would push our reps to sponsor Cap and Dividend legislation)… BUT the issues come last, not first.  If we don’t explain our values, issues don’t get the support they need.  Gays are fighting for same sex marriage.  Feminist are fighting for women to be able to have control of their own bodies, and on and on, but we’re all connected by the ethic of caring and we must UNITE as such.

Most people are bi-conceptuals: they have both conservative and progressive views in different aspects of their lives (family, work, school, etc.)  Conservatives are superb at manipulating language to get people to vote against their own interests.  Progressives need to stimulate the more progressive side of everyone’s brain by talking about our VALUES!  PROGRESSIVES UNITE!

Wow.  So, the Republicans didn’t destroy the economy.  And that’s supposed to be the “balance” that the Democrats got; otherwise they got nothing - ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. What is going on?  So, the Republicans get more and more sinister as they find extreme tactics to hold us all hostage in order to get their way starting with no extension of unemployment benefits unless the rich get their tax breaks, then threats of a government shutdown, and now the possibility of destroying the economy.  And they always get everything they want.  But, where are the jobs?  Where are the taxes for the Super rich?  Where are the closing the tax loopholes?  Where are the elimination of tax subsidies for the profiteers of Wall Street - big oil, agribusiness, etc.  We should all be furious.  This doesn’t end here.  They will keep taking us hostage and we better start paying attention.  Progressives Unite!

“Big Money.  No Humanity.”  This message was painted into the sidewalk in Columbus, OH.

And it makes you ask, where is our humanity? Even if we know about all the pain, poverty, suffering, and discrimination experienced by others, do we care? 

Do we really care when a black baby dies from malnutrition? 

Do we really care when Mexican kids kill each other?

Do we really care when the rich exploit the poor for their labor? 

Do we really care that women suffer abuse by their partners?  

Do we really care that most people work in jobs they hate?

Do we really care if people die because they can’t get the health care they need?

If we do care, then what are we doing about it?  Are we already too caught up in our own misery, lost in our own heads, too tired, lazy, or self-absorbed to work not only for a better America but for a better world?  What could we do with the money we saved if we didn’t buy the next product shoved in our face, if we didn’t believe that owning things would make us happy, if we started objecting to living in our own houses separated from those we love by walls and miles - separated from our own humanity?

I think we could live free for the first time in our lives.

So, old people, poor people, and the disabled have to sacrifice but Republicans WILL NOT take away subsidies for corporate jets and WILL NOT save billions by closing corporate loopholes and going after tax evaders.  Seriously?   Republican Eric Cantor’s office said, ” the corporate jet loophole that he [the President] was talking about only amounts to about TWO BILLION”

What? It ONLY amounts to a measly TWO BILLION?  Gee, that’s all?  So much for “fiscal responsibility.”  2 Billion here, 2 Billion there, apparently that kind of “budget dust” only matters when it comes to things like defunding Planned Parenthood and Headstart programs for poor children, but it really doesn’t matter for Corporate Jet owners.  I need to remember my priorities apparently.

Advertising is BRAINWASHING and it is everywhere.  You may “think” you’re immune to it, but companies don’t spend billions on something that “maybe works on some people”  It works on YOU.  Yes YOU.  Do you watch sports?  Do you have a favorite team? Then it works on you!  Do you shop at some store because their clothes are cool?  Then it works on you?  Do you only buy Apple products? Then it works on you.  Do you only buy brand name products?  Have you purchased exercise equipment that now sits in the corner of a room piled with clothes?  Do you own any clothes/shoes you never wear? Then it works on you.  Corporations and the media try to convince us that we’re too ugly, fat, bald, short, tall, skinny or whatever and if we only buy their crappy products we’ll look good and thus have people who love us and want to be with us, and most importantly we’ll be happy.  Of course this means you have to work 60+ hours a week and never see your friends/family/children or have time to go use that cool stuff you bought.  Why do we continue to play this stupid game?

So, the first step is admitting that you have a problem.  I’ll go first.  I just bought a floor steamer that I was “convinced” would be so much better than using chemicals (i.e. cleaning products).  It’s a cheap piece of crap that looks like it cost about $10 to make and I paid WAY more than that for it.  I was totally brainwashed (and now I’m embarrassed).  I feel like a fool and I should.  What was I thinking?  Oh, I know, I thought I’d be getting rid of germs in a more healthy, environmentally friendly way.  And maybe I am, but germs are not all bad for you and my current methods of cleaning (very little) didn’t seem to be adversely affecting my health.  Indeed, I will probably use this product about once a year.  I was brainwashed.  I should have used that money to help someone in need.  I could have donated it to an organization I support that works for social justice.  I could have spent it on gas to go visit a family member.  There are a hundred things I could have spent it on that would have made me and other people happier.  I’ll try harder.

The second step is redefine success.  It is NOT about the GDP, how much money you have, how big your McMansion is, how many video games consoles you own, your fancy clothes or what kind of car you drive.  That is all superficial crap used to divide us and make us think we’re “better” than other people.  Well, we’re not.  I’m not and neither are you.  So, how can we redefine success?  My suggestion is that it should incorporate how much love we give and receive, how much time we spend helping others in need, and how happy we are in our family (broadly defined), community, state, nation and as a global citizen.  Any other suggestions? 

When will the government get tough with corporations?  How many people have to die because of mine-safety violations (or polluted air or water or both)?  Republicans continue to fight for less regulation when what we really need is MORE.  

http://blogs.wvgazette.com/coaltattoo/2011/06/28/msha-to-families-ubb-mine-kept-2-sets-of-books/

It’s about empathy, nurturance, and caring for your friends, family, community, state, nation and fellow global citizens:

Love, empathy, and nurturance are primary, and children become responsible, self-disciplined and self-reliant through being cared for, respected, and caring for others, both in their family and in their community.  Support and protection are part of nurturance, and they require strength and courage on the part of parents.  The obedience of children comes out of their love and respect for their parents and their community, not out of fear of punishment.  Good communication is crucial.  If their authority is to be legitimate, parents must explain why their decisions serve the cause of protection and nurturance. 

Questioning by children is seen as positive, since children need to learn why their parents do what they do and since children often have good ideas that should be taken seriously.  Ultimately, of course, responsible parents have to make the decisions, and that must be clear. 

The principal goal of nurturance is for children to be fulfilled and happy in their lives.  A fulfilling life is assumed to be, in significant part, a nurturant life – one committed to family and community responsibility.  What children need to learn most is empathy for others, the capacity for nurturance, and the maintenance of social ties, which cannot be done without the strength, respect, self-discipline, and self-reliance that comes through being cared for.  Raising a child to be fulfilled also requires helping that child develop his or her potential for achievement and enjoyment.  That requires respecting the child’s own values and allowing the child to explore the range of ideas and options that the world offers.

When children are respected, nurtured, and communicated with from birth, they gradually enter into a lifetime relationship of mutual respect, communication, and caring with their parents.

— Dr. George Lakoff in Moral Politics (2002)

First, read Sex at Dawn by Ryan and Jetha.  Then, get over it.  Both men and women are VERY sexual beings and monogamy is virtually impossible for anyone.  Why are we even trying?  That is not to say that a person can’t LOVE someone and want to commit to them, but don’t we already know that love is not sex and sex is not love!?  What Weiner did is not unusual or different from most people having emotional or physical relationships with a variety of people (although it’s been interesting to see how new technology has played a role in the hype of this scandal).  The media, and those “outraged” by this need to get over it.  This is between him and his wife. Period.  The only reason this would affect his ability to legislate is because the media won’t let it go.  He can send naked pics to half the country (if they want them and are consenting adults), and unless it takes up so much time that he can’t do his job, why does it matter?  Our bosses, colleagues, students, teenagers, coworkers, neighbors, friends and relatives are all doing (or have done) some version of this (with or without technology).  How high does the divorce rate have to go and how many “scandals” do we have to witness before we realize that human beings are sexual animals - women and men.  We need to take some lessons from our sexually expressive ancestors and closest primate cousins (the Bonobo) and let people flirt; talk as sexy as they want to; and, yes, even have sex with as many people as they want to without the rest of the country going nuts.  But of course, be safe!

Note:  I definitely agree that they must be CONSENTING adults.